Archives for January 2015

Sometimes life’s storms are relative and their intensity and your reaction to them changes from day to day.

I am realizing that sometimes a storm for me is a mere hazy drizzly day to another person .  Even what is barely even a drizzle one day is a outright downpour a different day.

Life is crazy.  And I have to remember that any single thing I’m dealing with is coupled with all the other things I’m dealing with in my life.

So my storms continue to come and go.  However, I am choosing to give myself person to feel overwhelmed in a drizzle and carefree in a hurricane.

This morning was a great morning for my youngest child.   Last night wasn’t so much.  He ended up going to bed quite early…not that he was really upset about it.  He was tired and he knew it.

This morning he woke up willingly and happy.  He got ready and was even helpful.  In fact he came to me and brought me a whole lunch he had generously packed for me.  He got me a cheese string and a frozen wrap and a bag of snap peas and a granola bar.

What a sweet little guy 😉

I have 5 kids.  And in my limited experience every school class has a “bad” kid.  Now, I use the word “bad” loosely.  It isn’t that those kids are actually bad, just they have a bad reputation.   Maybe they have difficulty sitting still in class or staying on topic or controlling their behavior.   Regardless, the outcome is the same.  My kids come home telling me what these students are doing at school everyday.  These students often are at the fringe of the class as a result.

I hate to admit it, but I think I used to pass judgement on the kids and parents.  Unthinking and not intentionally,  but I did it none the less.  Over the years, as my brood has slowly grown from 1 to 5 the judgement has lessened and the sympathy and empathy increased by the bucketfuls!

I recognize that children are little people with their own thoughts and decisions and ideas.   And sometimes no matter what a parent tries to do; their child just will not be squeezed into the mold they must fill.

I am now “that” parent.  I have the “bad” child.  The child who gets me called to the school principal’s office.  The child who makes a scene in class.  The child who some times just can’t fit in the tiny mold he simply must fit into.

He isn’t really a bad child at all.  In some ways he’s the most sensitive and kind and thoughtful of all of my children.  However, he also feels his emotions big and he can’t hold his feelings inside and sometimes he just bursts out of the mold he’s been stuck into for too long.

Often when he has his meltdown it is for a sincerely good reason .  Often he has made a poor choice trying to do a good thing.  The thing is, he becomes embarrassed and ashamed at his mistake and chooses to become mute.  Have you ever tried to communicate with a child who refuses to talk…Well frankly it’s maddening.  When we finally make him feel safe enough to talk we find out that he was usually doing a kind or good thing in a bad way.

Today he got into the class after recess and realized after his shoes were off he’d forgotten his sweater outside.  He then went outside in his socks and the teacher saw his shoes and no him and got worried and multiple adults were looking for him and he was found outside locked out, in his socks on the steps.  He wouldn’t talk.  And eventually I was called.  After much coaxing and time he finally told us he was looking for his sweater.

Good to be responsible for his belongings; bad to be so independent at school with the door that locks when it’s closed.  Bad to not just tell the adult what he was doing and simply ask permission in the first place.

My son is kind and sweet and also volatile and loud and disruptive.  He has yet to be invited to a classmates birthday party.  I’m certain he is the student the others tell their parents about.

Unfortunately,  there is nothing I can do about this.  I can’t protect him or save him from this.  I can’t stop his bad decisions or their consequences.   I can just keep trying to teach him and to love him.

It’s not like he’s the “bad” kid everyday….but even a couple of times a month still get you the label.

So, my new routine is to tell my 3 youngest kids every morning and every afternoon, when we are driving to and from my school bus….that God is perfect and God made us in his image and if God is perfect then he doesn’t make mistakes.  God made each of us, each of my kids perfectly.  He made us each with a unique set of gifts and talents for a purpose we alone can do.  So when we make a mistake it is our responsibility to understand that mistakes are just opportunities to become better and more prepared to do the purpose God made us for and that one day we will get to do.

Last week one of my bus families asked me if I knew of anyone who could watch his girls for a bit after the bus before he got home from work.

Unfortunately I didn’t.   But my daughter did.  Karyssa immediately started begging for us to watch them.  They are friends with my girls.

After some discussions with the dad and clarification we actually ended up offering to do it.

They are from Ontario and their home still hasn’t sold there.   Their mom is back there working until the house sells.   The father actually works a few blocks from where I park the bus.  So as it turns out watching the girls for a half hour to an hour is literally no big deal.

He wanted to pay me, but seriously it’s no big deal.

The truth is, my favor to him is a blessing to the rest of us.  You see, now we stop at a different playground every afternoon for a half hour or more.   My kids absolutely love it!  A play date at the playground every single day.  Not much can beat that.

So my favor to this dad is in reality a blessing to me and 3 of my kids.

Sometimes helping people actually ends up helping yourself.  You see I had realized only the night before this all came about that my life was lacking fun.  So now fun is back…all because we wanted to help someone out in a teeny way.

The other night some girlfriends and I saw the movie Into The Woods.   It was a movie I was unsure about to begin with.  It looked dark but interesting.

So let me begin with absolutely do not take your little ones to this fairy tale….unless you want them to see heels and toes cut off and eyes pecked put by birds.  Nothing graphic but you absolutely know what is happening.

If a full on musical, like music man, is your cup of tea and you love the original Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale with their dark and more realistic endings then this movie is for you.

The ladies I went with rated it between a 4 and 6.5.

It definitely has some fantastic humour.  And the rose hue of fairy tales done by Disney is washed away.  Real life meets these fairy tales.

I have to admit there are some interesting twists and turns in this story.  But several main characters die and it is in general a very dark movie.

I told my 8th grader I went and she was jealous.   Apparently it has rave reviews amongst the Jr high kids.

One thing is for certain,  my 6th grader is too sensitive for this one and no way my 1st  and 3rd graders will be watching this one.

All that to say it does have some redeeming qualities and messages.  However, not enough for me to get past the toes and heels and eyes….

This one will definitely not be one we ever purchase.

So, viewer beware.  Not all fairy tales are for children.