As a parent we are making hundreds of decisions for our children every single day. Decisions that we hope will help our children to become the adults we dream them to be.
As parents we try our best to model what we want our children to become. We try to instill values and morals in our children that we hope will become a deep part of our children and will be adopted by them as things they deeply value as adults.
As parents we are stuck in the little picture, even while trying our best to parent in the big picture. We are bombarded with little picture failure on a daily basis. And very rarely we see the big picture successes. In fact some of the little picture big failures are actually signs of big picture big successes. I see this frequently with our youngest son. And I find myself realizing that some of his failures today are really successes. His immense independence and amazing and creative problem solving that get him into trouble today… Are actually the exact values and traits I want him to have fully developed in the future. Perspective.
This year our oldest daughter moved to high school. She chose to attend a school downtown. So every single day she takes public transit through downtown.
Recently I became aware of something she has done and does do that gave me such pride in her. It came up in conversation that some mornings she sees a cold homeless person and offers to buy them coffee. She has do e this several times. Sometimes the person won’t even come inside the McDonald’s with her but wits outside. Sometimes they do come in. But she does this completely on her own. She doesn’t get an allowance or any money from us. It’s her babysitting money. It was a moment that I realized that despite all the parenting fails clearly here is a success. Perspective.
Last year I found out that our oldest son would sometimes purchase gift cards and give them to the homeless when he saw them. Something he did privately and also completely out of his own money he had worked for. Another parenting success.
So for all the parenting failures, keep perspective. It’s getting into their brains and is forming their character. And sometimes the little picture failures are really a part of the big successes you are striving so hard for.